Part II continues the nonsense as Jimmy gets St. Angered at Sponch when Sponch tells him Metallica's worst album is in the six-disc changer in his new Honda Ridgeline. Cheef comes up with a new hard seltzer called "Black Fist." The boys try to find freaks on Craigslist and consider bringing back a bit Cheef used to do in his radio days called "CLUT of the Week." Boring Rampage talk kills about half an hour. The Mail Sack is drained, and the Gnarcasters wrap up with a breakdown of different types of drug addicts you'll find in every major city.
We finally got a Patreon. Become a member for access product discounts, online games with the Gnar Couch and Gnard Couch crew, short stories from Kenny Eggs, and access to the Gnard Couch Podcast, which recaps each week's Gnar Couch podcast and gives you even more dumbass audio content to listen to on the way to Sponch's mom's house. Bobston Ross and Mattpoo Cockley share vasectomy stories. Sponch reveals he had been dating a girl, but never told us, then she ghosted him after she found out about our podcast.
In Pat II of Incident 50, Rob creeps Cheef out when he says panties. The boys discuss a wedgie that led a girl to a near-death experience. Following a conversation about the NES game Contra, we determine Sponch's spread-her gun doesn't work. Foreigner's Feels Like the First Time becomes a talking point when the Gnarcasters can't figure out what else to talk about.
Gnar Couch Podcast Incident 50 Part I: Brage Vestavik Mechanic Gavin Steder, Soaking, Are We a Cult?
In part one of Incident 51, the boys are joined by Brage Vestavik's mechanic Gavin Steder, with whom they actually talk bikes and Rampage for a bit. The boys also discuss whether or not Gnar Couch is a cult after one of Sponch's friends refers to the entire Gnar Couch movement as the "Gnar Cult." Jimmy and Sponch, who grew up Mormon, explain soaking/fermenting/marinating, sparking, and jump-humping, among other strange Mormon sexual acts. The boys break down an FBI raid that netted 3,178 preserved penises.
Legendary bike designer Chris Canfield joins the boys this week and they actually talk about bikes. Chris confuses the mouth-breathing Gnardcasters with his intelligence and understanding of science. Topics include the original CBF suspension design, his new Deuce-Deuce bike, the Canfield Jedi and Secret Weapon bikes, Chris's Master's World Champion Downhill crown and questions from the audience.
The boys also come up with a new marketing plan for their sunglasses sponsor, Bliz Eyewear, that includes a throwback to the Voltron cartoon. Jimmy's Baiku is podium-worthy. Kenny Eggs wins a fake tongue vibrator and cumbs for three hours straight while staring at Chris in the Zoom meeting.
On this worst-ever best-ever, the boys highlight the true heart of the podcast: the Gnards. It's two hours of rambling drops and cuts about lot lizards douching with used motor oil, cocaine and Mexican donkey shows, worshipping the Gnar Couch, starting businesses while smoking pot, pissing on your own leg, poetry, Sponch's mom, butt plugs, and so much more! You'll hate it!
Starring: Drunk Wisconsin Person, 69 Goose Fuckle 420, Balloon Animal, Bentonville Looner, Choad McCuntonyaface, Shatpoo Cockley, #TeamTerry, Luce Bajina, Smart Dustin, Josh Bender and more!
No one was stupid enough to join the Gnarcast this week, which is a good thing because Bobston Ross did most of the show with his shirt off. We were going to discuss important bike-related topics like inclusivity and decreasing environmental impact when riding, but didn't have time after more pressing discussions about trolling people who message us, Sponch's lack of lower body hair, Rob's abundance of chest hair, the truth behind duck butter, Bentonville riders sniffing our saddles, people in Tennesee throwing severed penises at dolphins,and Boston Rob regularly wandering around his backyard nude.
Bob Bonelli from Tight Chutes joins the boys this week and they give away a Session hip pack. Tight Chutes sells packs that don't suck, along with other things that make riding more convenient. Bob uses his experience as a former soldier, longtime backcountry skier, and overall smart guy to design hip packs even Cheef would wear (and Cheef hates hip packs).
Bobston Ross returns after missing a week for a Smashing Blumpkins concert. Sponch tells the story about a grizzly bear and her cub rummaging through his campsite in Jackson Hole. Jimmy is on point with a record number of snipes, and Cheef talks about the first race he's entered in the past eight years and how he rode off the trail.
Also included: potty humor and middle-aged men acting like they're 13.
Roon Rib takes the night off to attend a Smashing Blumpkins concert and James Perri fills in. Jimmy explains having to explain boofing drugs to his 14-year-old son after Sponch dresses up like Boof the Magic Dragon while riding in Jackson Hole. Perri discloses his skill as an ASMR talent as the Gnards make sound effect requests that include choking a turkey and dolphin sex. Slick Honey Soaked Cougar tells the story about buying a Gnar Couch Looner shirt for his buddy who wore it for pictures the day his twins were born. Sponch slurps IPA from the HerPee. AJ Ghost gets naked and eats spaghetti in the Zoom room. 69 Gooseknucke 420 key bumps Total War preworkout. Perri concludes the show with a rant about jibbers.
Sponch booked surprise guests this week, elating both Bobston Ross and Cheef. Formation and Freeride Fiesta rider Chelsea Kimball FINALLY joined the boys to talk about freeriding the holy crap out of North America. Her boyfriend, Ryan Rodriguez, who Sponch and Cheef have nicknamed Papa Virgin, also stopped by the Stabbin' Cabin. In an unprecedented event, most of the content focuses on bikes, with a few forays into topics such as selling farts and fart videos for a living, jack-off crystals, and Gnar Couch's latest idea for an event, Rampaved, which will be held in Bentonville, AR. Cheef's mic is too hot and Bobston Ross repeatedly fucks up as a producer. In all, this prodcast is still a 6.9 out of 420. Also, Ryan farts into the mic on command. All this shit was done by Howard Stern a long time ago. We suck.