The Gnar Couch Podcast

Gnar Couch Podcast 179: Ride Caviar, Bring Back My Refrigerator, Big Guest Announcement

This might just be the best mountain bike podshow you’ve ever hate-listened to. That’s right—podshow, because podcasts are boring and suck, and furthermore, calling it a podcast would be an insult to the fine tradition of nonsense, awkward silences, and self-inflicted pain we serve up with all the grace of Boston Rob “making it clap” at dance parties (yes, that actually happened). 

On this episode, we’re uniting mountain bikers the best way we know how: by traumatizing Boston Rob with potential electrocution every time he laughs or drops an F-bomb (so basically, every ten seconds), peppering our guest Sergi “Ride Caviar” Massot with questions he doesn't want to answer, and dissecting the fine art of refusing to do something scary the first time, unless it’s stealing a Monster fridge while blacked out after a BMX event (best Sergi story yet). There’s enough childish conversation about absolute carnage on trails, dog tributes, and existential dread over medical bills to make you feel at home, disrespected, and weirdly motivated, all at once.

So if you thought you were signing up for thoughtful, nuanced mountain bike commentary, you’re almost as dumb as the hosts. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—the only podshow where the runtime is matched only by the length of our collective hospital bills. Hit play. Enjoy the accompanying mental degradation.

Guest info:

Ride Caviar

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00:00 "Joining Patreon Celebration Tonight"

07:33 Patreon Ringtone Request

16:53 "Adopting the Perfect Puppy"

19:47 Extreme Danger on Double Black Trails

25:21 Forest vs. Desert Riding Preferences

31:37 "Utah Trip: Costly Experience"

37:37 Wheelchair Trailblazing in Squamish

43:38 Hard Work Over Talent

46:47 Overshot Jump at Pride Fiesta

55:53 Drunken BMX Misadventure

57:31 "Nollie RMU Racer Appreciation"

01:05:38 "Oral Connections & Affordable Access"

01:07:29 "Rob's Crisis Escalates"

Gnar Couch Podcast 178: Ryden Dirty, eBike/Amish Bike Fight, Rob Can't Stop Cussing

It’s episode 178 of the Gnar Couch Podshow! We’re already three minutes in and the F-bomb counter is higher than your buddy who “microdosed” but forgot the “micro.” Utah probably hates us (again), but that’s fine—Utah also hates fun, women's thighs, and beer over 4%.

But, this isn't your dad’s mountain bike podcast. Actually, your dad probably left because you bought an E-bike, then he joined a Facebook group called Lycra Enthusiasts Who Love Buttholes. Guess what? We’re all you’ve got now.

This episode: memes, caffeine jitters, brown-eye contact, and the unholy truth that “analog” is being horribly mispronounced. Mountain bike culture is dead, and we’re here performing a necrophilia-themed jazzercise class on its stiff little corpse.

Joining us is the meme-lord himself, Ryden Dirty—43 years old, knees like stale breadsticks, and a professional at making Facebook warriors cry into their Garmin watches. He’s an ex-BMXer, chef, and current semi-professional button-pusher. If you get offended by him, congratulations—you’re softer than a Casey’s gas station pizza.

We’ve also got:

• A Zoom room full of Russian bots who keep trying to sell us boner pills.

• Facebook dads with “opinions” so bad they make your uncle’s QAnon posts look reasonable.

• A merch store with more hoodies than a middle school vape circle.

Throw in some ADHD, chef rage, and a bunch of dudes old enough to schedule colonoscopies around bike rides, and you’ve got yourself a certified Gnar Couch dumpster fire.

So grab a chamois, double up if your prostate needs it, and let’s kick this turd downhill. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where joy comes to die and the only KOM we care about is “King of Mediocrity.”

Guest info:

Ryden Dirty

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00:00 Couch Crushers Instagram Mishap

07:29 Message Us Anytime

14:55 "Analog Cycling Over E-bike"

18:25 "E-Bike Epiphany"

26:19 "Social Media Free Speech Shift"

28:36 "Embracing Authenticity in Social Media"

35:48 Mountain Biking Frustration Transition

44:03 "Biking Distance Challenges"

46:34 Teasing Chris Canfield

52:57 "E-Bike Antics Spark Controversy"

58:09 Expanding Mountain Biking Stories

01:05:22 Managing Subscriptions and New Content

01:08:00 "Call Us After Ben's Song"

Gnar Couch Podcast 177: Rob Brown (Loam Pass/Bike Sushi), Chinese Adam, Coach the Homeless?

This might be the best mountain bike podshow you’ll ever subject your bleeding ears to, but let’s not get too full of ourselves. If you’re looking for pro tips, life-changing inspiration, or anything more educational than a Snickers wrapper, you should probably tune out now. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where “podshow” means we get away with even more bad decisions, lowbrow humor, and colossally poor life choices than your average podcast. Sure, we occasionally discuss bikes, but only if we get sidetracked from rating sushi in grocery stores, the science of adjusting your audio knobs, and discussing Cheef's mysterious and apparently imaginary friend, Chinese Adam.

On this special episode, we drag Rob Brown—the evil genius behind Loam Pass and the definitely-not-mysterious Bike Sushi meme page—into our den of degenerates. Yes, he appears to bleach his hair for maximum radness, and yes, his Loam Pass business is either the future of bike park access or a plot to take your beer money and run to Thailand (Just kidding, the MTB Pass lady already did that). He takes us deep into the beautiful hellscape of organizing a pass for 70+ (and growing) North American bike parks, fighting the Big Bike industrial complex, and trying to break into Colorado bike parks.

But rest assured, this is still the Gnar Couch Podshow: we’ll try (and fail) to talk about bikes, share sponsored hate for overpriced water, reminisce about having bikes stolen and miraculously returned and running over bike thieves, and find new ways to offend everyone from CrossFit dads to the trail police. Is this a good episode? We don’t know. We’ve literally never made one. So crank those headphones until your eardrums file a restraining order and settle in for a show that’s about bikes, about everything else, and, most importantly, about nothing at all.

Guest info:

Loam Pass

Bike Sushi

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00:00 Podcast Sponsorship Blackmail Strategy

07:27 New Baggy Shirts at Narcouch

16:33 Epic Biking Adventures Pass

21:50 "Southern Adventure Hotspots"

24:20 Ski Resort Negotiation Challenges

32:36 Pass Usage Predictability Model

37:52 "Encounter at 45th Maverick"

42:10 Old-School Ski Pass Decline

45:45 "Excessive Honesty Dilemma"

50:40 Delayed Launch Success

56:15 Favorite Bike Parks: Spirit & Marquette

01:04:16 "Cody's Sudden GPS Failure"

01:13:05 "Bliz Eyewear Discount Code"

01:16:06 "Join Our Patreon for Extras"

Gnar Couch Podcast 175: Christian Peper, The Algorithm Is Watching You, Why Can't Utah Be Canada?

Welcome to another absolutely questionably legal episode of the Gnarcouch Podshow. This is episode 175—which honestly, we’re just as surprised it happened as you are. If you’ve ever tried to tune your suspension with ChatGPT, eaten three-day-old elk meat out of a fanny pack, or asked a stranger at Whistler to jump over your Tesla Cybertruck in a torrential downpour, congratulations: you’ve stumbled into the right corner of the internet.

Tonight, we’ve got Christian “probably peppered my jumps with more style than you have in your entire sad existence” Peper in the studio, and the whole studio smells like unwashed knee pads, half-done parenting, and unresolved childhood trauma. JP’s here, reminding everyone he was once called an unmentionable name by some dude using a random curse generator on the dark web. Boston Rob’s on voice recognition patrol—dude’s voice is so loud it folds the space-time continuum.

We’re talking e-bikes, jump progression, why your city’s bike park is softer than a TikTok cosplayer’s handshake, and, as always, questionable bathroom etiquette. Jimmy’s busy making foot fetish videos for the Patreon, and the phrase “family-friendly” has already violated three Geneva Conventions.

So, tighten your helmet, lower your standards, and get ready: this is episode 175, and it’s gonna be more chaotic than a grown-ass man arguing with a trail steward about Class 1 e-bike erosion while half the room tries to decide if Freebird is appropriate shitting music. Let’s kick this thing off—hold on to your buttholes, Nards.

Guest profile: Christian Peper

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00:00 "Trailhead Aggression Unleashed"

13:10 ChatGPT: A Useful Bike Tuning Guide

25:52 Mindful Kids' Presence on Social Media

42:18 Bridging Bike Skill Gaps

51:38 Progressive Jump Line Ambitions

01:00:17 Action Over Promotion Disconnect

01:10:02 Frustration Over Salt Lake Traffic Changes

01:21:10 Career Shift to Social Media Success

01:28:22 Crafting Effective Video Hooks

01:37:46 Instagram Algorithm Enhances User Engagement

01:47:40 "E-Bike Necessity for Busy Riders"

02:02:26 Homemade Kefir and Root Beer

02:12:18 "Defiant Trail Ride"

Gnar Couch Podcast 176: The History of Gnar Couch

Roll up and throw your tailgate pad on this dumpster fire as we take you through the trainwreck history of the Gnar Couch Podshow, a masterclass in turning angry biker angst and stray couches into the only show less appropriate than your browser history.

We dig into three surprisingly important themes: 1) how a decaying couch at a dirt jump park somehow sparked years of irreverent mountain bike content, 2) the relentless drive to gather all the misfit “dirtbags who are actually nice people” into a worldwide cult—even if it meant spamming Facebook groups until we got banned, and 3) the podshow’s evolution as a real-time therapy session for former skateboarders, current weirdos, and angry outcasts who worship at the altar of “shred till bed.” We’re just trying to find people as broken as us...and the good news is, it totally worked.

Is this audaciously low-brow origin story going to make you smarter? Almost definitely not. But it will make you feel better about whatever you’re doing with your life. So settle in and bask in the glory of a podshow created out of spite, sustained by idiocy, and beloved by dozens of mountain bikers, at least half of whom are probably mentally unstable. Welcome to the chaos you never knew you needed.

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00:00 Gnar Couch History Unveiled

12:03 Skateboarding Vibes in New Adventures

24:00 Unexpected Adult Toy Giveaway

38:37 "Radio Stories: Good, Bad, Untold"

52:30 Embracing Interactive Live Streaming

57:23 Reflecting on Friendship and Conflict

01:12:19 "Unique Format Boosts Mental Health"

01:17:07 Misunderstood Contributions Validated

01:35:54 Lingering Resentment Over Past Betrayal

01:44:28 Weekend Party Planning Insights

01:52:51 Impressive Skills and Growing Potential

02:03:31 "Reflecting on Creative Process"

02:15:57 "Blizz Sunglasses Discount & Praise"

02:27:20 Gratitude for Support and Community

02:33:33 "Stupid and Beautiful Memories"

Gnar Couch Podcast 174: DJ Brandt, Authenticity in MTB, Why We Ride

This could easily be the most over-caffeinated, under-medicated mountain bike podshow you’ll ever subject your earholes to. Not a podcast—a “podshow”—because adding “show” makes everything about 17% more questionable. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where the only thing more inflated than our egos is our caffeine intake, and the only thing more shredded than our bikes are our self-images. Tonight, we brought in DJ Brandt—your favorite rider’s favorite wildcard—just to see if we could make the art of the mountain bike interview as awkwardly sweaty and weird as possible.

This week’s podshow spiral dives helmet-first into three core themes: the existential crisis of being a professional freerider in an industry run by desk jockeys who think a “manual” is something you create in Word to guide marketing efforts, the painful evolution of mountain bike culture from “gnarly misfit circus” to “influencer hellscape,” and why the only thing more unstable than the bike industry is JP's and the Jerk Hand's digestive systems after six glizzies chased with six cups of gas station coffee. Sprinkle in debates about corporate buyouts, a discussion about how Pinkbike really was cool at one time, and our relentless need to grill and mother everyone within a 40-foot radius, and you’ve got yourself an audio experience that makes you wonder where the adult supervision went.

So buckle up—preferably in your daily driver Corvette or whatever heap you wrench on to avoid facing your feelings. Whether you’re here for the tales of bike park glory, the communal hate for TikTok “riders,” or just to hear DJ Brandt contemplate welding versus wildcarding, this podshow is the least productive thing you’ll do with your day—and probably the best.

Guest profile: DJ Brandt

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00:00 Spotlight on Rising Freedar Star

19:53 Corporate Exploitation of Action Sports Talent

25:49 Transition from Hobby to Profession

37:57 Epic Southern Drop Stunts

49:28 Innovative Photographer's Whistler Legacy

01:03:53 "Rampage Week Step-Down Memory"

01:06:32 "Surprising Flight Radio Skill"

01:23:32 Deer Valley Women's Clinic Finale

01:30:18 "Wild Rampage Camping Memories"

01:47:43 Process Visualization Technique

01:54:49 Obsessive Productivity Tendency

02:02:38 Misunderstanding Over Car Incident

 

Gnar Couch Podcast 173: Be Old But Good With Jeff Robertson, Fountains Of Ween, MTB "Enthusiasts"

Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, which is like a podcast but with less dignity, more self-loathing, and at least a 50% higher chance of your spouse asking, “What the hell are you listening to?” Picture a virtual dirt jump party where a bunch of underachieving mountain bikers, powerlifting BMX dads, and wannabe nutritional influencers swap stories about getting jacked after 40, sacrificing wildlife on Colorado roads, and trying to hit jumps that are way out of their league—all while waxing poetic about mini horses, chia seed poops, and why enthusiasm for the sport is inversely proportional to one’s actual riding skill.

Centered around three main themes—obtaining mountain bike excellence, fitness for aging riders, and the dark, sticky underbelly of “enthusiast” culture—this podshow delivers a potent cocktail of sarcasm and fitness advice. Whether you’re here to hear tales of gym reluctance and the dignity-obliterating process of learning to powerlift over 40 years old, or you just want to increase your biking skills, rest assured: we’re here along with fitness coach Jeff Robertson to help in our own special way.

So pull up your favorite moldy couch cushion, pretend you’re at Swamp Fest with a cold shower aftertaste, and let Jeff, Cheef, Rob, Jimmy Sniper, and JP prove once and for all that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is strictly optional. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow—the best mountain bike podshow you’ll ever regret listening to.

Guest profile: Jeff Robertson

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Gnar Couch Podcast 172: Ryan McElmon, Back of the Head Concussions, Sappy Gnar Couch Stories

This could easily be the most dangerously mediocre mountain bike podshow you’ve ever subjected yourself to—if only because there isn’t another one like it. But let’s not call it a “podcast.” It’s the Gnar Couch Podshow, a half-shaved circus animal of a program that fuses mountain biking banter, pre-school-level humor, and the sort of camaraderie you only find in places where head injuries outnumber IQ points. We’re back again, same as ever (possibly worse), welcoming Ryan McElmon, whose only real flaw is being good at every sport—while the rest of us are just good at lying about our skills.

Settle in as Cheef, Jimmy Sniper, Boston Rob, JP/Uncle Touchy, and Ryan ping-pong between three of our favorite recurring disasters: relentless self-roasting for our questionable riding prowess, dissecting why Utah’s mountain bike scene is built on equal parts skill and sheer obliviousness, and an ungodly amount of time spent discussing “firsts”—band shirts, head trauma, and the sort of sponsor deals that make you miss your dignity. It’s all sandwiched between tales of kids who look up to us (bad choice), pro-level athletes who out-drink and out-ski us, and the utter confusion of surviving a town where Dairy Keen is apparently a cultural touchstone.

So grab a non-alcoholic beer (thanks, Ryan), dust off your New Kids on the Block tee, and prepare for a tour through the rarely-admired underbelly of mountain bike podcasting—where the only thing deeper than our self-deprecation is our collective concussion history. Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow: the stoke is questionable, the jokes are suspect, but at least you’ll feel better about your own life decisions.

Guest profile: Ryan McElmon

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Gnar Couch Podcast 171: Resurrection of Revel Bikes with Adam Miller, Mike Giese, and Chris Canfield

Holy shit. Welcome to episode 171 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, the very special “Revel Bikes hostage rescue operation,” a.k.a. the episode where every former industry bro, current stoke vampire, and accidental HR case decided to restart one of the most revered MTB bike brands and discuss it with us for some reason. Has your bike ever cost more than your car but handled like it was actually made out of expired condoms? Us too. That’s why tonight we’ve packed your digital clown car with more mountain bike icons than a private equity firm’s bankruptcy spreadsheet. (We say this in the most loving way, as you'll find out.)

Cheef here, fresh off a Dairy Keen soft serve bender and contemplating my place in this late-stage capitalist hellscape we call mountain biking. Boston Rob’s still dripping in dad rock and peanut butter cup stains, JP's been busy mansplaining Johnny Cash’s genre to oblivion, and Jimmy’s just out here rage-connecting all of us with big podcast stepdad energy. Chris Canfield is in studio, ready to pivot—literally, with his damn suspension kinematics and figuratively with his HR-compliant mustache. And, not to be outdone, we’ve dragged Adam “I just bought my own company back because fuck you, that’s why” Miller, Mike “Too Steezy For Your Face” Giese, Deano the XC Nerd, whose med device stories will ensure you never trust French boobs or European healthcare again, and another round of your unhinged Oral Connections calls.

Strap on a bib (or a thong, if that’s your flavor), crack a Mezcal, and get ready for almost two hours of raw, unfiltered shit-talking about private equity stupidity, bike spec foreplay, soft serve-sized trauma, and what it actually feels like when your carbon dream bike files for Chapter 11 before being resurrected like the bicycle Jesus it actually is. We’re more country than Austin, less country than Nashville, prouder than a Fox News viewer at a Willie Nelson concert, and about as reliable as a monkey with a PowerPoint deck. Listen, because we might actually answer a bike question, but mostly we’ll just revel in Dad jokes, derailleur puns, and the existential dread of modern consumerism.

Welcome, you sick bastards. Let’s get seriously weird and weirdly serious together.

Guest profiles:

Revel Bikes

Adam Miller

Chris Canfield

Mike Giese (steezygiese765)

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Gnar Couch Podcast 170: Luke and Alex Mallen, Racing, Tricks and Stuff

You just stumbled onto the Gnar Couch Podshow—yes, “podshow,” because “podcast” is for people with functioning attention spans and fewer deeply repressed issues about outdoor furniture. We're the audio equivalent of finding a slightly wet couch at a trailhead: deeply unsettling, weirdly comfy, and probably hiding at least two species of insect (metaphorically).

Our not-so-highly-trained panel dives straight into three pillars of modern mountain bike culture: (1) sending it big and eating it just as hard—broken bones, torn ACLs, and the never-ending pursuit of avoiding therapy bills by riding bikes off cliffs; (2) the sacred (and vaguely inappropriate) art of shuttling and cuddling, because real friendship is when you don't question how the couch got wet; and (3)the life of UCI racers Luke and Alex Mallen and the mainline reality check of working your ass off to chase down racing dreams while surviving on hand-me-down underwear and side-hustles aerating strangers’ lawns. All delivered with enough self-loathing to fill a foam pit and enough edge to tear your shins up worse than cheap flat pedals.

So while we’re never going to be the podshow your mom wants to hear, we are the one you can't mention at work without getting a visit from HR. Grab the least-suspicious seat in the trailer, ignore the scent (just like we ignore the rules), and brace for the greatest self-sabotaging, semi-inspirational, off-the-rails mountain bike podshow to grace your undeserving ears. Welcome to Gnar Couch, where we race, we crash, and occasionally, we actually learn something—but only by accident.