The Gnar Couch Podcast

Gnar Couch Podshow 144: Reece Wallace, Rob Gets Sentimental, JP Hates Ski Trikes

Content producer, pilot, and Rampage rider Reece Wallace joins the boys this week to talk about riding bikes, building a freeride compound at his house, flying planes, competing in Rampage, buying military helicopters and blasting CCR, making MTB videos that don't suck, and a guy named Tapeworm who looks like a skinnier DJ Brandt. Rob got high last weekend while hanging out with a show listener and got all sentimental, a feeling that carried through right up 'til the end of the show. JP goes off on ski trikes, possibly kicking off "Grinds My Gears" ripoff segment. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 143: JP Teacher 3-Way, Elastic Bumbs, Generic Show Features

JP couldn't make the show tonight because he was possibly having a 3-way with two teachers named Connie and Tammy in Vegas last night. What actually happened? No one knows, but JP ended up in his underwear with no recollection of the night, a bunch of brusies on his ass, dirt all over his hands, and a lump on his head. The last thing he remembered was giving a guy in a pink jacket and sunglasses 20 bucks to gamble for him. Cheef poses an interesting hypothesis, positing that men have more elastic bumbs than women. Also, a bunch of generic, wacky, morning show features make this our 69th best show ever. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 142: Sergi Massot (RideCaviar), Who Hack3d Us, Holding Hands

Rob came through and we now have a new second-best guest ever. (No one will ever top John Kilo, the guy who has sex with food.) Tour de Gnar rider Sergi Massot jumps on and absolutely steals the show with great stories about riding in the Tour, renouncing his Spanish citizenship, and a rapid-fire Q & A session for the boys. We further discuss, with the AID of our followers and listeners, who hacked our podcast a couple of months ago. Jimmy tells us a story about questioning his sexuality after seeing two dudes holding hands.

Gnar Couch Podshow 141: Rob Returns, Where the Paved Trail Ends, Butthole Rap on KBUT

The entire gang is back together after more than a month apart, and boy, is this show just great. As usual, any actual mountain bike talk is curbed for stuff way dumber. Rob makes his return by immediately shitting to kick off the show. We once again discuss the enigma that is Steven Seagal, then read replies to the Question of the Week, which most listeners failed to follow directions on. Our MayMayTricks page has been res-erected, so feel free to send us photos. Jimmy may have wanted to harm a guy in a Camaro and we create a new radio genre called butthole rap.

Credit for the Butthole song: Noah Davis

Gnar Couch Podshow 140: Lew Buchanan, When is Cumb Gay, Rob Goes to Drag ’n Farts

Welcumb back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, a private podcast dance for your ears. Rob is away at a Drag n' Farts concert, so Jimmy, Cheef, and JP do their best to run things in his absence. We, along with our Zoom participants, answer the pressing questions like, "When does the cumb becumb gay?" Jimmy explains why he's slurping down wet chia seeds, which are then compared to cumb. We also discuss "long hamburgers." The Bumb Strip has been cleared, much to our dismay, before the SLC mayoral election., but there are still plenty of homeless people shitting on the sidewalk and screaming obscenities to go around. And one more cumb topic: can you IV inject yourself with your own cumb? Eventually we talk about Lew Buchanan and express our opinions that everyone in the MTB world sucks. And kimchi is kumbchi, and it's good. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 139: Taint Waxing, Sea Cucumbers, $10 Snow Bet

If you're a man and you've ever considered waxing your taint to be accepted into a threesome, the first 20 minutes of this week's show are for you. Rob goes in-depth, uncovering the process and explaining the positions you'll assume should you choose to tear out your crotch shrubs. In today's educational segment, the boys discuss some biology. The pearl fish is a sneaky little devil that loves to make a home inside of a sea cucumber's ass, which coincidentally, also serves as its mouth. Learn something new and #TrustTheGnardScience in this fun segment perfect for the inquisitive mind. Cheef and JP make a $10 bet. Cheef says the next time it snows in the Wasatch Mountains, the upper Park City mountain trails will be closed for the season. JP disagrees. The other part of the bet was private, but we assure you someone will get violated as a result. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 138: Welcumb Back Uncle Touchy, Will Smith is a Cuck, Rampage

Uncle Touchy is back and he has a LOT to say, most of which isn't even bike-related at all. Reamo Piehole calls in and we actually call him back this week. He tells us about his family and his trip to North Carolina. We try to talk about Rampage, but end up talking about Will Smith building an arboretum so he has trees to hide behind while Jada cucks him. The Rampage site is still there. If you wanna show everyone you can ride it, now is the time. No one will. Most people who comment about Rampage don't know what they're talking about. Some other Rampage stuff. Rob has a ticklish peen. New Gnar Couch home decor is in production now, so stop living, laughing, and loving, and get ready to Laugh, Fart, and Cum.

Gnar Couch Podshow 137: Cup O’ Balls, Ryno Rampage Update, Uncle Touchy is Missing

We're back after a week off to talk about Rampage for 30 seconds before we talk about Rob's sack sling. Realizing we're drifting way off course, we randomly decide to call Ryan Rodriguez, who is busy digging at Rampage. Ryno takes us deep into Rampage, telling us what the pros are up to, how they're approaching their lines, and what the vibes are like this year. Despite the fact we "suck at riding" and we're "misogynist Chads," you'll learn a hell of a lot about this year's Rampage when you plug us deep into your ear holes. Uncle Touchy has gone missing, most likely drunkenly lost in the desert with a bag full of firearms. Hopefully, we find him before next week. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 136: An Apology, We Got Hacked, Butt Bike Joke Explained

The Gnar Couch Podcast has returned after an involuntary hiatus due to being hacked and deleted. Cheef apologizes for himself and the crew to kick off the show. How the hack went down is explained. (Guess what? No one really cares and we're back, so the whole thing was pointless.) Cheef has to explain a joke to Rob. Still dumb. Still Awesome. Still Gnar Couch. 

Gnar Couch Podshow 135: Serious Rampage Talk and Some Other Stuff We Can’t Remember

Someone hacked our podcast host account last week after we posted our opinions on Rampage, which are definitely in favor of including female riders. Most simply put, we rebuked the idea that sexism and misogyny were the reasons women weren't included this year. We came to this conclusion based on insider information provided by both pro riders and our personal experiences freeriding in Virgin. As the week progressed, public interviews with the riders confirmed the information we were given. Someone took exception to our opinions, which, again, we based on information not yet available to the public, and deleted our entire podcast library. 

Now, we're back, stronger than ever before. If you thought we were awful before, wait until you hear what we have planned for you now.